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How To Send Flirty Texts Without Sounding Needy

How To Send Flirty Texts Without Sounding Needy

Tricks to sending flirty texts without sounding desperate

The modern flirting is texting. It’s efficient and anyone can do it. Texting gives even the most introverted person the confidence to express his or her beautiful mind in flirting. For those who find it hard to flirt in person, their intentions could be revealed through text.

However, even this fool-proof method has its downsides, such as misunderstandings or the inability to see the recipient’s reactions. The following guide aims to help those who want to assert themselves without being too aggressive. Being smooth ensures the success of your flirting.

Do’s and Don’ts of Text Flirting

Let’s begin with a few general rules when it comes to text flirting.

1. Don’t hide your sexuality

This tip goes to guys and girls alike – don’t be afraid to hint sexual innuendos at the right time and pace. Guys often fear being judged as “gross” or girls thought of as “slutty” if there are sensual hints in the texts. However, flirting must entail some sexuality.

Masking your sexuality and sensuality is a clear path that leads to the friendzone, for men and women alike. A woman who refrains from this playing field could be thought of as uptight. Gauge the atmosphere, make sure it isn’t too early in the relationship, screen what you want to say, and go for it.

2. Do take chances

Text flirting is all about risks. You don’t know if it will work and attract that person or push him or her away. It is a chance worth taking, nonetheless. You will have doubts and fears, but unless you send that text, nothing will happen, and you’ll never know if you stand a chance or not. Regret is worse than taking the plunge.

3. Don’t think he/she is The One

Another tip to remember is that there are more fish in the sea. Just because you’re texting someone new doesn’t automatically mean you’ll end up with that person or that he or she is your only option. Keeping this in mind is a great way to avoid the trap of appearing too needy.

When the person you’re texting disappears, don’t worry too much and don’t dwell on it. If they’re really gone, and you find yourself ghosted, then give yourself the opportunity and motivation to move on and don’t look back, unless they have a legitimate reason for ghosting when they do reply to you again.

4. Do act like you’ve done this before

If you’ve tried flirting through text before, take note of your prospect’s responses. These could be useful as future reference. If this is your first time, then do act like you’ve done it before. Don’t ogle at the opportunity but handle it smoothly.

5. Do have fun

Remember to have fun! Don’t feel too much pressure that you become stiff. You may not be flirting with a person face-to-face, but they can feel when a conversation isn’t flowing smoothly.

6. Don’t shortcut and relax on the emojis

Spell out your messages. A person normally finds it a turn-off if they receive texts that have shortcuts and too much emojis. Spelling things out, adding punctuation and using emojis sparsely show that you put great thought into the text.

7. Don’t get lazy

When someone replies to you, it means he or she is interested. Don’t suddenly disappear on them or at least let them know if you will be preoccupied for a longer period. Remember that it hurts to be ghosted, so avoid doing the same to someone else.

Keep the conversation going by asking questions and responding with wit. Not letting the conversation die is a sure way to make that other person want you and positively respond to your flirting. 

8. Do ask questions

Flirting is all about showing your interest in the other person. Asking questions and wanting to get to know you is a sign that someone is interested in you.  Ask questions because you truly want to develop something with that person and remember their answers because it will prove beneficial in the future for surprises and plans. What’s more, is their answers will make you like them even more or have the opposite effect and turn you off. Compatibility could be discovered through the getting-to-know stage.

How To Text a Guy For the First Time

If you got his number yourself, then you have the beginning of history together to start from. You can give reference to that night at the bar or that convention where you two first met and clicked.

You can use your previous meeting to start a conversation through text. “Hey, just want to check up on you. I saw this adorable corgi, and I remember you telling me this is your favorite breed. I have to agree; they are furry cute!”

If you got his number from someone else, then it gets a bit tricky. But, you can use the mystery admirer card to your advantage. More often than not, you got that person’s number from a mutual friend which you can mention at the beginning.

Take things up a notch and ask around what kind of person your prospect is. You can use that knowledge to your advantage in angling your texts.

How To Text a Guy Without Seeming Desperate

1. No late-night texts

This is a big no-no. Texting someone at 2 am gives off red flags of desperation – even if you’re sober when you sent the message. This approach could give the wrong idea of a booty call, nor is it respectful and appropriate to text someone you aren’t that close with past midnight.

Keep the messages coming during a normal person’s wake cycle.

2. Don’t sext too fast

Taking the plunge and sending sexual messages too soon is a trap that many fall into. Doing this will only turn off the recipient and all chances of taking things beyond flirting.

Believe it or not, there is a way to sext and flirt without appearing desperate. It’s all about timing and word choice. The goal is to let that person know that you don’t want to merely sleep with him or her but could take a green joke.

How To Text a Guy Without Being Annoying

1. No spamming

One sign of desperation is coming off as too forward that the other person ends up finding you annoying. Best way to be annoying is to send too many messages without letting the other reply. Your “OK” doesn’t have to be sent alone in a text. It could be followed by other things you wanna say.

Let the person reply before you start a new topic or interject. This way, he or she will feel valued because you’re waiting for a reply first.

This approach may not seem like outright flirting, but it will aid all your other methods and build you an attractive image with the other person.

2. Don’t be clingy

When you’re interested in someone, you want to get to know them and talk to them 24/7. However, doing so will most probably just push that person away instead of getting a chance to build a relationship.

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When that person needs to go, and they tell you so, let them go. Maybe include a, “I’ll miss you” somewhere as you part ways. Next, don’t always be the first one to text. Let them initiate at times because this shows that the interest is mutual.

Examples of flirty texts

“This reminded me of you (attach photo)”

Nonchalant, personal – smooth flirting.

“I am so craving Chinese food at the moment (distressed emoji)”

It’s a simple message, yet it also gives the person on the other end of the line an invitation to take you out or surprise you. It also lets them know that you feel comfortable enough with them to air out your random feelings.

“Miss me yet? (wink emoji)”

Ask this out of the blue after a date or two. This message hits two birds with one stone because it puts you on his or her mind right at that moment and will actually make them miss you.

“Dinner at 7, you game?”

This direct approach is needed at times. It shows confidence, independence, and control – attractive attributes.

“I’m one busy person, but I keep getting sidetracked with thoughts of you.”

This lets your crush know that he or she means a lot to you. The message is sweet yet smooth, without an air of desperation.


While it is so easy to fall into the trap of desperation when you’re flirting especially if you feel like the feeling is not mutual, one must practice some self-control in this aspect. Flirting is a skill that once mastered, will make you irresistible.

Start off with a few of the tips mentioned above and find yourself flirting like a pro in no time.

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