Work on good communication to have a happy relationship
Good communication is the primary key in achieving and maintaining a positive social interaction and healthy relationships, but since there are no divine scriptures highlighting how to build a good communication in a relationship, conflicts are bound to arise. Human beings are wired differently and it’s normal for two people in a relationship to have different levels of communication skills. Every individual has a different level of expectation, varied history
Some people might think since they talk to their partner every day, they are communicating and in turn doing fine when what they actually do is have conversations about everyday activities like work, kids, family and friends. Communication could be the source of life in relationships or cause the death of the relationship and this article is going to teach you what you need to know to effectively communicate with your partner and strengthen your relationship.
Here are some vital rules you need to follow:
This is the most essential part of communication, but it is also the most difficult to do especially when you are in the “moment”. Listen to what your partner is saying and be fully present in the discussion. They should see that they have your full attention and that you prioritize them. Listening to the grievance of your partner is the first essential tool in having healthy communications.
2. Be Honest
Some people do not fully trust people, and the attitude can be justified, so they find ways to hide their emotions and pretend everything is fine. However, despite the fact that these techniques have worked in the past, it feeds the lack of communication which causes itches in relationships and can eventually grow into full-blown conflict. Say what you mean and express your feelings clearly. Talk about things you find hard to tell others, be vulnerable and completely honest even though it means opening up yourself to potential hurt and disappointment.
Having open and honest conversation goes a long way in reinforcing effective communication the foundation on which relationships flourish.
3. Pay attention
Communication isn’t really much about what you say but about the way you say it. Paying attention to the non-verbal signs such as body language, the talking pace, tone of voice and inflection all send different signals. Your partner may be conveying to you what it is they really need but if you might not be getting it because you’re not paying attention to how they are sending the message across to you so miscommunication will arise and you both will get frustrated.
Other clues you need to watch out for are;
- Folded arms which almost always translated to mean the person is defensive.
- Lack of eye contact may suggest disinterest, shame or difficulty in expressing oneself.
- Loud voice comes off as aggressive and may indicate the person feels like he/she is not being heard.
Pay attention to your partner’s non-verbal signals but also keep yours in check to avoid sending off the wrong vibe.
4. Simplify discussions
A lot of conflicts could have been resolved at the discussion stage if the parties involved had kept it simple and focus on the issue at hand. Most times, the reason discussions turn into arguments is because one person wasn’t paying attention. A dispute is never resolved by bringing in unrelated issues or past grievances in the hope of getting in a cheap shot to hurt your partner.
5. Understand your partner’s need
No matter how much you love your partner, you can’t always know what is going on at the back of his/her mind unless you understand their tell and you. You need to put in the effort to understand the things your partner responds to the most. Being the type of person who is quickly moved by verbal gushing does not necessarily make your partner that kind of person too. So using endearing words repeatedly and frequently which would have impressed you might seem to your partner as you not putting effort. If he/she is the kind of person who likes public displays of physical affection and adorable drama.
6. Hash it out
This may sound weird, but sometimes it is a good thing to get into arguments to resolve impending conflicts. It is a bad idea to bury emotions because you and your partner find conflicts repugnant. Buried feelings only fester and erode inner happiness until it becomes an irresolvable issue. Do not keep issues unchecked and pretend to be happy, have the little fight now before it gets bigger.
7. Employ the use of humor
Maybe you are in a heated conversation with your partner, and you feel your partner is blowing things out of proportion, and the issue is getting out of hand, a little private joke will help calm things down a bit, and you can regain perspective. Humor is an essential part of effective communication in relationships because it helps relieve stress and induces happiness. Sharing humor with your partner reminds you both of the joy in the love you have for each other and allows you to endure even during tough times.
8. Seek help
Nobody is perfect, and sometimes, the difference in opinion might just be too much, and efforts at building effective communication might just be failing. That is the moment where it is necessary to seek help. There are relationship counsellors trained to recognize communication patterns and issues causing miscommunication. Don’t act tough, talk to someone about your problems rather than wait till your relationship fails.
If you follow all these rules carefully and communicate frequently, you are guaranteed to have a healthy, long and fruitful relationship. And when talking with your partner, remember to;
- Eliminate all possible source of distraction
- Think about what you want to say before you say it
- Speak plainly and clearly, so your partner accurately understands what you mean
- Accept the responsibilities for your own feeling
- Put aside your own thought and reflect on your partners’.
- Share positive feelings and remind them of how much they mean to you
- Negotiate, you don’t have to be right all the time
- Keep comfortable eye contact
To improve communication, it might be necessary to ask yourself and later ask your partner these questions;
- What are the reasons behind the conflicts in your relationship?
- What are the things that strengthen your happiness and connection?
- What causes you disappointment and pain in your partner?
- What are the things you don’t talk to each other about?
Discuss these points and share your responses, the result will definitely improve the communication and nourish your relationship.