Know when your marriage is floundering
Marriage is a beautiful relationship which soon takes the seat of the most important one in your life. After taking center stage, you’re soon engulfed by the overwhelming love and constant effort that a good marriage requires. It is not a “blood relation” that just exists and you cannot change it and this makes it all the more challenging and vulnerable.
After the honeymoon phase is over, marriage starts getting ‘dry’. Many arguments pop up and this troubles you beyond belief. All these are because of a few common problems that we keep on ignoring because we have seen them in every marriage and deem them unimportant. Here’s a list of 8 common marriage problems that you’ve been neglecting and need to be remedied at the earliest!
1. You’re not romantic with each other anymore
Romance is the key element in marriage. From small gestures of love and care to throwing full surprise parties and going all out, romance is what keeps the marriage interesting. If you’ve not been on a romantic date in ages and you don’t dress to impress your spouse anymore, you seriously need to make some amends.
2. Not making any effort to spend time together
Your marriage may be in troubled waters if you can’t recall the last time you and your partner spent some quality time together. A marriage is most certainly threatened if hanging around people or busying yourself in your laptops/mobile phones are the only activities you have and the sooner attention is given to this issue, the better it is. Good quality time is a critical part of a successful marriage. Being able to share a laugh together or maybe just chat like old pals keep the marriage fresh and alive for long!
3. Communicating has become increasingly difficult
Communication is an important part of any relationship – let alone a marriage. There is this very wrong notion that after a while, couples become so “comfortable” in silence that they don’t need to talk. This misconception has led to the normalization of this communication gap that eats a marriage from within. If you’re increasingly having trouble sharing with your husband or wife, muster up the courage and talk to them about it. Let them know how you feel and why you feel that way. Working out a solution together will surely rejuvenate your rusty relationship.
4. Trust issues start popping up disguised as “possessiveness”
Trust is a very crucial part of living happily with your partner. Jealousy is also a very real human emotion. So it is understandable if your partner or you are not comfortable with either one of your exes coming to your house or being in contact. However, if you’ve noticed a lot of spying and accusing disguised as being “possessive”, it’s high time you call this toxic behavior out. Tell your partner how their actions are only deteriorating your relationship and they need to trust you more.
5. Not equally involved in decision making
It is true that every relationship has a dominant and relatively submissive and/or passive partner. This balance of nature is understandable and may even help out in shaping the perfect amalgam that works in your marriage. The problems, however, start occurring if ALL the decision making is done by one partner. From what you’re having for dinner to deciding where you want to live or how many children to have; the controlling nature of the dominant partner can be apparent. If decision making isn’t mutual in important matters, the frustration can dwell in very soon. It is important to never ignore this sign as this can cause a lot of insecurity within you and diminish your personality altogether.
6. You’re not addressing each other’s insecurities
Every human being has their own insecurities. If you don’t build each other’s confidence anymore, you need to take a step back and reconsider where your marriage is going. Your home should be a place, where you’re bare naked with all your insecurities in full display and your partner addresses each one of it. If your home has stopped being like that for you and you constantly find yourself indulging in various coping mechanisms, you should talk to your spouse about it before it gets too late to be fixed.
7. You’ve left little to no room for mistakes
Nobody is perfect and our mistakes make us who we truly are as we learn from them. If your marriage has become a score sheet where you’re judged for every action and you feel like there is absolutely no room for you to commit even a single mistake – your partner and you need to have THE TALK. Let them know why you feel like you always have to be your best version and cannot afford any slacking. Find your way out together and ensure that you give each other enough room to be human because humans make mistakes all the time!
8. Lack of responsible self-improvement
Marriage is undoubtedly a union of souls but it is also a journey of self-discovery. You get to know each other as you’re exploring you’re going through life together. A marriage should never make you dormant to the extent that you stop your self-improvement altogether. Do not ignore this by saying that you’re just so busy you don’t have time to work on yourself. Always take out time for self-evaluation and work on yourself to become a better person and encourage your partner too. After all a better you will make for a better marriage!
Fix it before it’s late!
These common problems are often masked by the smiles and the illusion of a “functioning” household. Society has made us believe that many of them are just normal and occur over time but these insidious problems are what weakens the bond between spouses and they end up drifting apart from each other. Address these issues before it’s too late and spend a happy life with your partner till death does you part!