What fabrications are not helping with intimacy issues?
Don’t let this myths interfere with your sex life. Debunk them
We are sure that during your teen years you heard a lot of myths about sex, right? Have these myths followed you into adulthood? Are they affecting your sex life? When it comes to sex, there seems to be an abundance of myths or urban legends surrounding it.
The danger with the perpetuation of these myths is that they muddle the water when it comes to being able to help couples with intimacy issues. Whether its cultural restrictions or social taboos or attitudes toward pleasure, sex is clouded by a lot of hearsay and very few facts, and it remains like that because we’re afraid (sometimes) to ask the right questions or to look for information.
If you really want to have a meaningful relationship and an enjoyable one, you need to reed off all these misconceptions about sex. We’ll give you a list of 15 sex myths so you can debunk them and don’t let them ruin your relationship.
1. If you have your period, you can’t get pregnant
If you still believe that having sex during your period is going to be the ultimate barrier, you’re mistaken. There’s a possibility that you could get pregnant even if you’re menstruating. The scenario is unlikely but it still can happen, it depends on how long your menstrual cycle is.
For most women, the menstrual cycle lasts approximately 28 days, from those, 3-5 are taken by your period. During this time, unfertilized eggs and uterine lining are eliminated. You’re most fertile during your ovulation stage of the cycle, that’s 12-16 days before your next period. The thing is that for some women their cycles are shorter, so the ovulation stage can start earlier.
That early start and the fact that sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days, could, if the timing is right, lead up to pregnancy. So, if you’re planning to have sex during your period, to avoid surprises, ask him to wear a condom.
2. All orgasms are like fireworks
Everyone experiment orgasms differently. When it comes to orgasm there’s a spectrum, it can go from a very quiet whispering to feeling like fireworks exploding. It’s not true that you’re going to feel the same fireworks all the time, the feels depend on a lot of factors (your emotional and physical state, the amount of stimulation, your energy level). Don’t expect mind-blowing orgasms all the time, take it one sensation at a time.
3. There’s no need for lubricant if you’re aroused
The truth is that if you need more lubricant than the one your body produces doesn’t mean that you’re not aroused. The reason for this myth is that a lot of people equate the level of arousal with how wet they are, but that’s not an accurate way to measure how turn-on you are.
A lot of things affect lubrication (monthly cycle, pregnancy, medications like decongestants), it won’t matter how much water you drink.
4. If it’s not a vaginal experience, it’s not an orgasm
This is an idea that a lot of people is stuck on, that women can only achieve orgasm through repeated penetration. The truth is that there’s no one-size-fits-all recipe to achieve an orgasm.
Most women will require to have their clitoris stimulated to reach an orgasm, according to the e-book Essentials of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, just 25% of women achieve orgasms through penetration, 75% need the extra stimulation.
5. You will burn some major calories during sex
You burn calories during sex, just not in the amount you think. During 30 minutes of sex, experts estimate, you’ll burn between 85 to 105 calories. To lose a pound of bodyweight you’ll need to burn 3,500 calories. So, to burn that many calories you’ll need to have sex 35 times, and you know that, physically and realistically, it’s not possible. The average duration of sex is probably closer to 5 minutes.
6. You can get addicted to your vibrator
This is a misconception that gets twisted up. What could happen is that your body could get used to that particular experience of achieving an orgasm. You’ll be stuck in a ruck with your toy, so trying to do the same thing in a different way might not get you the same results.
So, experts recommend that you change up how you use your vibrator; use a different one, change the settings where you use it, try different positions and also introduce your boyfriend or husband to it.
7. Your first time won’t get you pregnant
The chances of getting pregnant each time you have sex (especially unprotected one) are always the same (1 out of 20) even if it’s your first time. Your chances of getting pregnant start once you start to ovulate and continue until you reach menopause.
8. Your athletic performance could be affected by sex
For years, managers and coaches of tops sport have forbidden their athletes from having any action before a big competition or game because they feared a weakened performance. Well, according to some recent research, they can put those worries to rest because that’s not the case at all.
9. Sex is on men’s minds every second of the day
This myth was debunked by a study from the University of Ohio, published in the Journal of Sex Research. The intention of the study was to actually know the number of times men and women thought about sex in a day. Turns out that men think about sex far less than 8,000 times you think he does, the actual number is 19 sex thoughts per day. And women? 10 sex thoughts per day.
10. Size does matter in order to have a good sexual relationship
It’s really not about the size. Many of the highly sensitive areas of the vaginal canal are within an inch or two of the vaginal opening, so your boyfriend or husband doesn’t need to have a large penis to get the job done. Besides, a satisfying sexual relationship is not just about vaginal penetration, it’s the foreplay, the timing, the touching of other erotic zones, and not forgetting the connection.
11. Other parts of his body can tell you his “size”
The myth says that you can tell a man’s penis size by measuring his feet, hands or nose but the truth is that there’s no scientific proof making a correlation between body part size and penis size.
12. Turning on women takes more time than men
There’s supposed to be a big difference in how men and women respond to foreplay. Well, the truth is far from that, according to a study done by McGill University, there’s no difference in the time both genders reach their peak arousal. They used thermal imaging to corroborate this. If you still think it takes you longer to get aroused than your husband, it’s more mental, because physically you’re ready.
13. You can’t get pregnant if he “pulls out” before ejaculation
This is a huge myth, withdrawal is not a reliable method for several reasons. One, once a man is aroused, he ejects pre-ejaculate fluid which contains sperm (300.000), it takes only one to get you pregnant. Second, in the heat of the moment, it’s hard to keep control, he might not pull out on time. And third, sperm can swim, so even if he ejaculates outside but near the vagina, one of those swimmers can fertilize your egg and pregnancy will occur.
14. Birth control is a mood killer
This myth could make sense in the context of hormones because they can influence women’s sex drive and pills alter them (women’s hormones). Well, a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine says that taking the pill has no influence on women’s sex drive.
In the case of condoms, the myth is that they made sex less pleasurable. Also, not true according to a study at Indiana University where it was reported that women and men found sex pleasurable when using a condom.
15. Always take your socks off when you’re about to have sex
Well… they may be a turn off for some people but, turns out that having your feet warm can be conducive to orgasm. This, according to a sex study in the Netherlands where they did brain scans on women and men while their partners were trying to give them orgasms. It was chilly in the room and various participants complained about having their feet cold, once they were given socks, orgasm was reached significantly more.
There you have it, next time you’re about to have sex, if something doesn’t feel right, check it out first.