A happy man, a happy wife and a happy marriage life
They say that a happy wife is a happy life. However, let’s tweak that a bit. A happy husband makes a happy wife and, therefore, a happy married life. It really is a complete package.
Marriage is a long-term relationship that takes two people to develop, maintain, and sustain. While we hear of so many divorces, affairs, and marriages going south, there is still quite a handful who make the whole idea of marriage fun, simple, and oh-so fulfilling. Why else did we choose to stick to our soulmate if not for fulfillment?
A healthy and happy marriage is much work, and we mean a lot. It may not seem like it at the beginning of a marriage when it’s still the honeymoon phase. You and your partner are euphoric being together. The idea of living together, buying furniture and renovating your new house, starting a family together are life goals that many have, and to be able to achieve them gives one a high sense of accomplishment.
However, what happens after? A year or two into the marriage, you fall into a routine. Work, home, repeat. Things could get monotonous and, if not addressed, could negatively affect your marriage. Slowly, couples realize that they’ve strayed far away from each other. Fights occur more often while communication decreases. Before you know it, you feel like you don’t know that person in front of you anymore.
Both happy marriages and broken ones admit and can identify the one thing that keeps a marriage functioning well – the little things. It’s the little things that should not be taken for granted, and it’s the little things that should not be forgotten.
From your anniversary to her favorite food, from choosing to talk things out, no matter how small the issue is, to never going to bed angry – these are the little things that work like the gears of a machine. Taking good care of the little things, whether by remembering them or choosing to be bigger than them, will keep your marriage working like a well-oiled machine.
The little things further branch out to more specific aspects, all of which help in maintaining a happy marriage.
1. Be honest
Honesty is key, they always say. Well, it’s true. Honesty is so crucial in a marriage; it serves as a stable foundation to build a relationship on.
From the big decisions such as transferring houses or buying a new car, or the smaller things like where to eat or who will pick up the kids today – be honest. Some people think that to make your partner happy, you must shove your preferences, opinions, and feelings under a rug and always put them first. However, there are times when clearly, you do not agree on something. Be honest.
If you build your marriage on honesty, the rest follows, like transparency and communication. Being honest doesn’t mean you allot an hour a day to sit down and talk about the issues or topics where the truth is lacking. Honesty happens at random times during the day, and it doesn’t take your full attention at times. These are the little things wherein honesty is needed to ensure a happy marriage.
Since we’re talking about honesty, let’s talk about secrets. There are times when your honest opinion or feelings cannot be aired or must be approached with discretion. For example, the in-laws. If you don’t like your partner’s family, you don’t have to tell them. Maybe, in private, you can tell your husband or wife some simple reasons why, however, there is no need to go into detail because this could hurt their feelings.
Another secret to keep for yourself is an attraction towards their friends. Are you physically attracted to her BFF? You don’t need to tell her as long as it remains as a crush that will eventually pass.
Communication goes hand-in-hand with honesty. There is no honesty without communication. In a happy and healthy marriage, conversations go beyond “How was work?” or “We need to get some groceries.”
Is opening a non-government organization a life-long dream that could already be started because of your extra funds? You should not feel intimidated to tell your partner about your hopes and goals because you are in it together for the long run. Do you feel like you and your partner need to start hitting the gym and eating, right? Communicate.
Many times, a couple gets divorced and only during the appeals do they find out why. It turns out, there are a lot of little issues here and there that led to the decision today – little things that could have been communicated and addressed at the onset.
As much as possible, avoid establishing a routine, in the bedroom and your romance. Spice things up with new things, surprises, and spontaneity.
Try a pottery class, a new workout, a different vacation spot, a new position, a new restaurant every month, or make a family bucket list to accomplish. You can even make a separate list just for you and your partner. Write down everything you’ve wanted to try or master but never had the opportunity.
New activities mean new experiences, new memories, new topics to talk about and will all lead to a happy marriage.
One thing that damages a marriage is a lack of acceptance. We cannot change another person and neither should we try to turn our partner into someone we want. Does he always keep the toilet seat up, and you scream in the middle of the night at the cold seat? You may nag, and he might remember from time to time, but the habit will not completely disappear. All it takes is an extra precaution on your end.
A happy marriage is one that accepts differences and establishes a middle ground on the issues. However, all hope is not lost. Love and care are great catalysts for change. Do you love your wife and regret leaving the toilet seat up when it’s too late? You will remember next time.
The important thing here is acceptance. When we know our partners accept us, warts and all, then we strive to be better versions of ourselves.
Kiss, hug, cuddle, and never lose physical touch. It might not be your thing in public, but never let it disappear in private. Physical contact is a way we connect, and this ensures the bond remains strong. Make it your tradition to kiss each other good morning and good night.
Wanna try something different? Surprise your partner with a shoulder rub or a foot massage. He or she will adore you.
Furthermore, showing affection at home or in public is an excellent example to your kids. It teaches them gentleness and romance. Your sons will learn the right way to treat a lady, and your daughters will know that ladies are capable of giving affection as well.
A marriage is a partnership which functions on agreement. Agree on things like raising the children, their disciplining, responsibilities, and luxuries. When the kids see a united front, a respectable example is set.
Finding common ground to agree on is a skill that marriages must master. We’re humans, and we love to disagree; however, you are in a lifelong relationship with a partner. Finding an angle or approach that you both agree on will save you many arguments that lead to full-blown fights.
7. I Love You
This simple tip goes a long way. Saying the eight-letter word at different times of the day, in person or through call, text or written note is like a breath of fresh air. The effect of hearing those words spoken at just the perfect time is inexplicable. You feel so stressed and aggravated, then your partner goes, “Hey, I love you.” Suddenly you have the inspiration, strength, and motivation to do that thing.
There are many ways to say “I love you” without actually saying those exact words. Feel free to experiment with your version of the phrase as long as it shows your appreciation towards your partner.
8. Sleep with no issues
Especially true in married life is never going to bed angry. First, sleep is essential. Trying to sleep with unresolved issues will only push sleep farther away. You won’t get a good night’s rest, either. Also, you will wake up to the problem that had a whole night to brew.
Cue in communication and agreement. Talk things out before you sleep or at least set some time to talk about it the following morning if you really can’t address things before bed.
9. Take care of yourself
Don’t let yourself go. It might sound vain and superficial, but health is wealth. Yes, marriage is time and attention-consuming but don’t forget about you. There’s a stereotype that married couples grow in size the more years they are together. How about maintaining an ideal weight together, instead? Don’t you want to look your best with everyone never guessing your real age?
Ladies, go to the salon, pamper yourself and go shopping. Men, don’t let go of your hobbies. A happy marriage relies on each partner who is content about his or her physical, mental, and spiritual state. When you are happy and fulfilled, you give happiness to the relationship.
10. Forgive and remember
Last but not least, forgiveness. Couples who have been together for over 50 years say that a secret to a long and fulfilling marriage is forgiveness. Forgive your partner and forgive yourself.
Always remember the good instead of the mistakes or shortcomings. Why are you in love with your partner? How far have the both of you gone? Remember the small details about your partner, such as the present she wants for her birthday, which she quickly hinted after she had too many glasses of wine.