Some people are lucky to hit it off with the right person on their first try and end up having a stress-free relationship, but some of us have the unfortunate fate of ending up in extremely toxic ones. The saddest thing about being in these kinds of relationships is that we are sometimes too blinded by love to really see the ugly picture until we end up with severe emotional or occasionally physical damage.
We are sure that most of us would look back at our past relationships and wonder how we could have been so stupid and wonder how on earth we didn’t see the mess. Love makes everything your lover do seem like the right thing and other times, one partner just might be too emotionally, financially or psychologically invested to realize they are aboard a sinking ship.
It is a very confusing thing not to be sure if your partner is just having a bad time or if he/she is dropping clues that he or she is no longer interested in the relationship. Despite the hopeful thought that you might be harboring, most times when things feel off, it’s because they are indeed off and that’s a cue to reconsider the state of your relationship.
So when you start seeing these ten signs in your relationship, know that it’s time to leave;
1. Physical Abuse
Physical abuse should never be tolerated in relationships. Sometimes it might just be the occasional slaps from a drunk partner or a more violent attack after arguments.
This shows that love is so depleted or totally extinguished and the relationship is most likely going to end badly so you do not forgive and cry about it because you can never forget that the person who was supposed to be your protector can now easily harm you when things go wrong. Can he really change? It’s time to drop that emotional baggage.
2. Emotional abuse
This includes criticism, intimidation, manipulation, direct verbal abuse by your partner. It is a sign of disrespect and fading emotional connection and should not be tolerated.
Maybe suddenly you find that your partner is near impossible to please and he or she starts blaming you for the things that went wrong in their lives, they no longer feel affection towards you and things are definitely not going to get better so you shouldn’t wait and lose all your self-respect.
If your partner can’t stop drinking alcohol, using drugs or can’t stop gambling (any addiction at all), then you should know that it is time to go. Chronic addiction is not only dangerous to the financial life of the victim, but it also affects everyone around them, and they will do just about anything to feed their addiction.
If they can’t help themselves or they are just unwilling to change then you don’t need to feel remorse over deciding to leave the relationship. If you’re important enough, your absence will push them to make adjustments to their way of life.
4. You’re no longer a priority
When it starts getting hard to reach your partner, something is up. Unanswered phone calls, no reply to texts, busy Saturday night and so on.
If you are a top priority to your partner, he or she would go through anything and literally ‘walk 500 miles’ to be with you. You need to move out of that emotional whirlpool and find someone who will feel that way about you because there is always that one person who would do anything to be with you.
5. Emotional Proximity
Reduced physical contact and sex is also a big tell in knowing if you’re drifting apart. So if you notice that even when you are together physically, they aren’t really there and they act like they’d rather be somewhere else than be with you at that moment. Then 80% of the time, they’d actually be somewhere else maybe with someone else, so it’s best you break things up.
6. Carefree attitude
When you notice that your partner’s interest in you starts fizzing out, you shouldn’t ignore. The interest two people have in each other is what makes relationships unique. The interest sparks the need to make your partner happy when it is removed from the equation, what are you waiting for?
Your partner should be interested in hearing about your day, know what’s going on with your work and the things you enjoy doing. When such an exciting part of the relationship is removed, things might only get worse because it’s just unfair to treat them with love and care while they treat you like something they have to live with.
7. Gut feeling
We all have a sixth sense kind of intuition which doesn’t follow any sort of rationale or logical rule that tells us when things aren’t right. These feelings are almost always right, so when you start feeling off about the relationship or you all of a sudden start wondering if your partner is going to break up with you, you shouldn’t wait for what you dread to come to pass. Bring it up with your partner and hash it out, know if you are just paranoid or if it’s really time to walk away.
8. Frequent fights and arguments
Another sign of the end of a relationship is when the partner’s fuse is suddenly very short, and they get prone to argue with you easily especially harping on how you are wrong and how you never do anything right. It is easy to overlook some specific things and never say things to hurt you only when they are still in love with you.
Don’t try too hard to find common ground in this kind of situation because most times, resolution is almost impossible; you just have to let it go.
Although lying is sometimes necessary when dealing with your boss at work and it is also useful in sparing the feelings of casual friends; however, it is always harmful in a relationship. No matter how little you might think the lie is, it still eats at the trust shared and eventually crumble the relationship. If your partner always finds ways to avoid confrontation and lies his way out of situations, then you should really consider getting out of the relationship because it’s already on its way to a total collapse.
There is a thing called “Open relationship” where it is mutually agreed by partners to have unchecked sexual relations with other people. It is okay if it works for both parties and unless that is the case, cheating in a relationship is totally not cool and hard (if not impossible) to get over.
It is a total savage breach of trust and a huge emotional blow that you don’t deserve. Forgiveness sometimes works if both parties make necessary changes and the guilty party is really remorseful. But once you realize the first time wasn’t the last time, and he or she is a habitual cheater, you need to ignore whatever feelings you have for the person, save some face and walk out that door.
These 10 tips cover the most obvious signs of an ending relationship. Even though talking to your partner could be very useful in resolving most issues, you just need to know when it’s not working anymore. Every situation can’t be exactly the same, and everyone has different perspectives, but we should be careful about how we place our tolerance ceiling and know the difference between weakness and forgiveness. Some people bounce back from some of these issues and form stronger relationships with the same partner, but if your partner doesn’t stop whatever they do to hurt you, it’s better you cut your loss and move on.